177 days

I was checking my email tonight before crawling into bed for what will be my last night in Sri Lanka; suddenly a little Mac dialogue box popped up from the corner of my screen informing me that I have not backed up my computer in 177 days.

I left my backup hard drive in Toronto after backing up my computer just before hopping aboard the plane that would wisk me away to first international adventure.  Apparently, that was 177 days ago. 

When I was about 100 days (4ish months) in, I was convinced I wouldn't last a week longer.  Somewhere around that time I remember actually taking out a calendar and counting down how many days I had until I flew out.  I laugh now, to think about how quickly those days have vanished.  It is funny to think about: one day time seems to drag on, threatening to slip into reverse for its seeming lack of momentum.  And then: BOOM! Its over.  I am at the finish.  The adventure has concluded.  

The dichotomy of those feelings quite accurately expresses a lot about my time here.  Time has been a drag, time has been a blur.  One moment loving it, another moment hating it.  One event teaches me some of the most profound things I have ever been taught, another event has torn it all apart in little pieces and left my utterly confused.  But in all these things, time has moved on.  In all things, I have progressed.  My emotions have swung to the limits of the pendulum's swing and everywhere in between, but I can still say that it has been good - not always easy, but always good.  177 days on the complete opposite side of the world, 35 000 km from home has ROCKED my world.  I have often thought about the ridiculous nature of this self-imposed adventure: to discover the intricacies of my own culture by experiencing a culture miles away (figuratively and literally) from my own.  That was the entire goal!  And I was going to achieve it by simply living with a family - that was my entire plan!  In hindsight, I was completely unprepared and incredibly naive.  But, I have seen God's goodness and grace in the amazing ways he has protected me and taught me while I embarked on this ridiculous quest.  I guess its a minor miracle (if miracles can be classified as minor) that I did make it through these 177 days! 

Praise the Lord for his goodness!  Day 178: Back to Canada....

T minus

India has come and gone and now the countdown has begun. 

5 full days left in Sri Lanka. 

India was truly amazing.  Challenging, stinky, and overall - completely enthralling.  The poverty of India hit me like a slow motion left hook: you know it's coming but you have no idea how much it will actually hurt until WHAM you're sitting flat on your butt wondering what to do about it. It is difficult to put words to the poverty that exists there.  It is absolutely everywhere.  It is even more difficult to know what to do about it: the locals tell you not to give money, the tourists tell you that you're just training them not to work, and, even if you do give - their is an endless stream of beggars, how do you give to them all?  I don't know the answer.  It seemed like my thoughts on the situation changed every time I met a beggar, which was about every two minutes. I've worked with the poor at home in Lethbridge, but that seemed more useful because it was long term and involved building relationships, and I definitely saw the benefit of that approach.  I know that just dropping a few coins into a beggar's lap will not do much for long term change, and maybe I am just contributing to the problem by doing so.  Maybe the itinerant traveler should just walk away if he is not going to take the time to make lasting change...but my heart still ached every time I walked away from a man with no legs, or a naked child sitting in his own filth (literally) by the side of the road.

I am still processing all these thoughts in the midst of processing the reality of my Asian journey coming to a close.  I am busy saying goodbye to people.  It is the first time I have been busy since being here, and it is probably for the best - it allows me to ignore the fact that I may never see these people again.  I would like to think I will, but I am also keenly aware of the fact that this is not an opportunity I am given every day. 

But, for now, I will fill my days with goodbye suppers and farewell parties.  The suppression of the reality of the situation will have to wait until I get back to Canada before I release it.  And I am sure that release will be forceful and palpable, prompting an entirely new raft of emotions and feelings as I re-adjust to the culture I grew up in. 

See you in Canada!